The Full English Process

Apologies to T.B for my disappointing review of last week's events. I dedicate this post to you and your deep pan.

Now seems an appropriate time to discuss said disappointed flat-mate's regular lunch creation: the bacon sandwich, as I have been meaning to for some time.

These photos were taken by T on my camera without my knowledge so added extra incentive for me to document this highly important process. The mushrooms: where it all begins.

A good 20 minutes are spent slicing a large bagful of them, to approximately a 4-5 mm width. An impressive pile now stands on the side waiting for oil to be heated in the pan before they can be laid in the pan (I think it's always the same handleless one - pictured). After the mushrooms have had about 3 minutes exuding their waters the bacon comes out.

I should note that this documentation seems to have been set as an unspoken challenge - as it's something I see on maybe a twice-weekly basis, I should be able to fluently recount the details. I have to admit I am beginning to doubt myself over the crucial question of bacon: smoked or unsmoked?

I'm going to have to say smoked and will suffer the consequences if T reads this and I am wrong. Anyway, the fact that I am even feeling anxiety over this choice illustrates how seriously this process is to be taken.

Back to the pan - three or four slices of bacon are laid on top of the mushrooms and left there in order that - I can quote - "the mushrooms can absorb the salty juices". This seems to be the key part of the method, and the bacon never touches the pan until the end. I know for sure it's not streaky as every time I witness the procedure I postulate how much better it would be with the crispier, fattier variety...I am frowned upon. This is not something to quibble.

When this is nearly done, toast is made and buttered, ready for the sandwich assembly on a plate. Sometimes - only sometimes - an egg might be cracked onto the pile at the last minute as a bonus. The contents of the pan are scooped onto bread and eaten with a knife and fork (surely from the amount of mushrooms this could never be a sandwich).

I think after having spent this time being amused over someone's breakfast making process I really should try the creation. Hopefully I will soon and can give a verdict, maybe even a mark out of ten.